Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
