is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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