I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
