I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
