ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
