Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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