he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
