What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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