What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
