i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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