He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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