I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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