I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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