never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
