glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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