Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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