you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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