come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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