okay pat passed out under dana's car
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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