She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I need water and some morals
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
