physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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