Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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