I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
