Your mouth is God's brothel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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