I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
