So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
