marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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