Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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