VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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