She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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