I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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