You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
