Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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