its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
