I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
