barbara walters just said penis...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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