don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
