I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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