I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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