i was rollin on her like bob the builder
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
