Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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