Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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