Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize