So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
