u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
