At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize