it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
