YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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