you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
