in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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