He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
