my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
