i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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