my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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