Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
