How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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